Fuck them in their stupid asses

You know i got banned from XBL in November right? Well, what you didn't know was they've kept my account going all this time. Me neither!

And what you also may not know is you can't delete your account through the website. You can have to call them up and speak to a person to delete your account.

Lame eh? Well, i haven't told you the rest of it.

Basically the conversation went like this:

Riiiiiiiinng, Riiiiiiiiiing (oh christ it's got put through to a foreign call center, you can tell by the single tone rather than the double you get in Britain)

Indian guy answers.
Hello, welcome to XBox Support, my name is (insert unpronouncable Indian name here), can i take your name please.

So i give him my name and then spend another minute spelling out my surname phonetically.

Me: Yes, i'd like to cancel my Xbox Live account please.
Him: Certainly sir, can i ask the reason behind this please?
Me: I just don't play it any more (what the fuck am i going to say? Microsoft banned me for having a modified console)
Him: Is there a reason you don't play it any more?
Me: No, I just don't play online any more, i just want to cancel my account.
Him: Is it the games you're not liking?
Me: No, i just don't play it very often.
Him: Are you connected to Live at the moment
Me: No, it's not plugged in, i haven't played it for a while (pick one story, stick to it, that's what i learned)
Him: Are you not liking the Xbox 360 any more, is there a reason for this?
Me: No, no reason, i don't play it, i want to cancel it now please
Him: Have you had a bad experience playing online?
Me: No
Him: Do you know how to connect to online games and get the most out of your Xbox Live account, i could show you how if you like
Me: Yes i do and no i don't like
Him: Are you sure you wouldn't like to think about it for a little while?
Me: What? No, i rang up to cancel it. That's what i'd like to do now please.

So it starts to dawn on him that i won't be budged so he spends the next 7 or 8 minutes getting my gamertag and confirming every detail about my account even down to my favourite pets name (wish i'd have written 'Fuckhugh' in the pets name box now). It didn't help that when i found out i couldn't cancel my acc. online that i went into my billing information and changed my entire billing details to a's and 1's.

All this time he's giving me the usual crap:
Him: Have you considered transferring your account to another member of your family, i could do that for you right now

At this point i just get annoyed

Me: Nooo, please, please, please, just cancel my account.
Him: Ok sir, don't worry, I was just...
Me: I know EXACTLY what you're doing, i get it, i really do. But i want to cancel my account, i 'won't worry' when you do what i'm asking you to do and cancel my account.

So he puts me on hold for about 2 minutes while my account 'cancels' (Fuck knows).

And then he comes back and tells me it's cancelled. By this time i'm sick of him and can't be bothered with his false platitudes so while he's giving me the 'That has been done, is there anything else i can help you with today' I'm just talking over him with 'No, it's fine'. Then the obligatory 'Ok sir, you have a nice day now' (It was 9.30pm, there wasn't much day left to have a nice one) I just butted in with 'Yeah, thanks, bye' and put the phone down

Total call time 15min 38sec.

I don't know what it is about Indian call centers but they drive me up the fucking wall.

Maybe it's just because the whole deal stinks of a company trying to cut costs and save money. That's the only thing it says to me.

So that's it, my trials and tribulations of quitting my XBL account. And one day, ONE DAY, you'll all go through exactly the same thing as i just did...

Sodding XBL

Had a dream last night that i got banned. It was one of those wake up and can't work out if it's real or not.

Need to plug it back in the network tonight just so i know. It's not like i use XBL for much but it's nice to have it there, you know. Just. In. Case...

Xbox Live

This is why i'm apprehensive about playing on Xbox Live with the mic and everything. I know it's american and they're all stupid yankee teenagers obsessed with homophobia out there but the principal's the same.

Hack and Slash Galore

* Edited to correct spelling - Jimbo (there's a red line under the words for a reason...)

Just saw on Games Radar that The Conan Demo is available on Xbox Live. I shall have to download that and have a go. Apparently it comes with a limited number of the moves that will be available in the full game but there's still enough to satisfy anyone's bloodlust.

The only game I can think to compare it to for the bloodlust it will invoke is Barbarian from off the Amiga, who else remembers the decapitation finishing move? A little guy came on to drag the body away and kicked the head of the screen :D From what ive seen of Conan there is that, plus a whole lot more.

In short I am really looking forward to this one, lets hope it doesn't disappoint.

xbox live games are pretty sweet this month

So we've got a few great games coming out on Live this month. In no particular order we have:

Super Puzzle Fighter II HD Deluxe: Stupid name, fantastic game, if you never played this game on the original playstation then you're in for a treat. It's the most addictive puzzle game made since Tetris. I fully urge you to get hold of this game then bring the pain to anyone who wants it. It could even be a game that i might win at as i was pretty damn good when it first came out.

Speedball II: The seminal Amiga classic comes to XBL, anyone who doesn't remember this game is too young and too stupid to know what us oldies are transmitting. You can hear the words 'Ice Cream!' shouting in your head right now, go on admit it.

Beautiful Katamari: Too cool for school. There's something so much fun about rolling everything up into a ball that makes the replay value of this game so much higher than everything else i've ever played, even Spider-Man 2. And you'll be humming the theme tune for weeks until 'Ice Cream' drowns it out again.

playing people online really sucks

So there i was last night, having a go of Virtua Tennis 3 coz i hadn't played it for a while. And i'm not too bad at it, playing in career mode i've gone up from rank 300 to rank 105 and i'm still winning every set cleanly. Ooh, i've got a great idea, i'll go online and give it a go on singles there, I should be able to hold my own at least and the trueskill won't pit me against anyone too good.

First person playing online, DESTROYS me, absolutely fucking annihilates me, didn't get a single point and struggled to return every shot. I looked so pitiful chasing around after the ball while i barely return every smash. Bish, bash, bosh, 3 sets to nothing.

So this guy was pretty good, i just got unlucky, try again. First couple of volleys i'm not doing too bad so this might be a bit of a better match. Nope, he finds his feet and wastes me, didn't get one goddamn point, not one.

I hate online play. The trueskill system is just a load of bollocks. I just get wasted on every game i ever play online. I don't think i've ever won one game online since Unreal Tournament 2003. Surely i can't be that bad at games, i've completed dozens of games, i've been playing games since the Philips Videopac 2000 back in 1983.

But i go online and i end up playing against people who have been playing this game solidly since it came out and i have no chance. As i said before, the trueskill system is clearly old cack. It doesn't represent the real skill of someone coz it only goes on how many online games you've played. I could fully complete the game on single player first, then when i gonna be good at the game i can go online and completely trounce the other people who play it every now and then.

It should check how long you have been playing the game online and off and put you against someone of similar standing, that would make it a lot more fair.

No i'm not bitter, i'm just sick to death of playing people who are SOOOO much better than me, there must be SOMEONE out there who i can give a good competition to, anyone?