10 reasons why Burnout Paradise is wank

1. Plays Paradise City every damn time you turn on the game, normally i'm skinning up while the game boots up so i end up listening to the whole sodding song over and over again.

2. There's too many races and not enough of other events

3. They got rid of the junction crashes, which were, without a doubt, the best thing ever about Burnout 3. What's more they've replaced it with that bouncing around thingy that can go on for 20+ minutes and gets REALLY boooooooring, but you can't stop coz you have to get that ubiquitous high score on every street.

4. The biggest annoyance by far is you can't restart an event if you're doing badly. What kind of fucking retarded twat decided it would be a good idea to to remove the restart race option.

5. It keeps making me play it, coz it looks cool and the gfx are great, so i play it, for about 10 minutes, then i switch it off in disgust.

6. Even Marked Man, which is a great premise, is a bit rubbish after a while coz you just take the journey slowly and they don't get you.

7. I get constantly lost doing the races as i keep taking the wrong turning. The signs flash to take the correct street at the top of the screen but they're so small they're too easy to miss, especially when you're burning up the street.

8. Take one wrong turn and you've lost the race, which you then have to complete coz you CAN'T FUCKING RESTART!

9. I have to constantly stick with a stunt car as the race cars are too hard to control and the muscle cars are too weak in acceleration.

10. You WANT it to be so much better than it is coz it's Burnout and Burnout's cool, innit? So you play it, and you overlook everything i've just written here coz it's Burnout, then after about 30 minutes you pause the game to do something or other and you're really not in a rush to get back into the game.

11. When you go up in your license it resets all the races and stuff you've already done so you do everything again. THEN WHAT'S THE FUCKING POINT?! There's nothing to complete, it should make you scout around and do each of the races, etc. That would make it more challenging, at least give you a sense of acomplishment when you do a particularly difficult race.

Where the grass is green and the girls are pretty

FINALLY!!!

After a long, bleak Christmas where bugger all has come out, Burnout Paradise is finally out. And you know what? It's actually good.

It's radically different to the other Burnout games. It feels like Need For Speed multiplied by Burnout. You drive around the city, wherever the hell you like. Every single junction has a mission. A majority of them are races where you get from point A to point B, but there's no restriction on the route you take.

The crash point junction slo-mo things have gone and have been replaced by something a little similar where you can press LB & RB at the same time, then you flip over and start bouncing along the road, press A at the bottom and you'll hop upwards, then you basically have to smash into as many cars as you can while you've still got turbo. Lots of fun but it may get a bit tiring after a while coz after you've smashed into 120+ cars you get a little bored and just want to finish.

Still, it'll hold my attention for the next couple of weeks and at least i don't have to go back to the old games just for something to do.